December – woot!

An amazing week has wooshed by.

The last week of students at school is my favourite week. Not just because it is closer to the holidays, but hey, I am human. We have such a fun time reflecting on the year and by this stage the students are so close and know each other so well. It is a great celebration. Last year I didn’t have a homeroom. I just taught subjects and I missed it so much.

Yesterday we farewelled the year 9s from my school and there were tears. I love how we let them go. My son is in year 9 and he got the chance to show a short film he had made in Enterprise to the school. It was well received. I was already proud of him and I enjoyed seeing others acknowledge and celebrate his effors.

Tomorrow my daughter turns 17. I am so proud of her. She is an amazing young woman. I have adored her since the moment I saw her.

What a month this is!

The Upside of Anger

I really enjoyed this movie. I strongly identified with the main character. Not that my husband died and I thought he’d left me for another woman, but I have been equally outraged about wrong assumptions and she was just playing it out to an extreme scenario. She was angry and wrong and hurt and wrong and fabulously self indulgent and witty and wrong. I have been all those things before and it really made me think to watch someone else do it in such a spectacular way.

My wonderful fairy godmother Auntie Angela said to me once that the great thing in life is that she is so often wrong. Most of the hurts and pains and negative things we imagine are wrong. It would be great if I could keep that in mind in future. When you are hurt or imagining some betrayal or slight, it is very difficult to suppose you could be wrong. I intend to do that though. That is my intention.

The United States of Leland

I watched this tonight. Although it was quite touching and painful, it was enjoyably so.

This week has been busy and had it’s highs and lows. I am finding it still difficult to get on with things at work. I struggle to shift my focus and resist being negative. I don’t like myself and my thoughts at work.
This is the longest I have been in a job. Four and a half years……
I am continuing to question myself and trying to find the truth beneath the upset. I am sure there is something I am not learning that is keeping me suspending in this struggle. I want to be released. It is possibly not even about work. I don’t know. I just feel really hurt and upset and whilst I am trying to pretend everything is ok and I am over it, I am dreaming and crying in my dreams and I can’t escape it.