Category: reflection

Bunny deprivation…..


Poor Ella… the neighbours have a pet rabbit that she’s not allowed to eat.
When we were at Rushworth I witnessed Ella chase and kill a rabbit. I saw toddlers and mum next door chasing the new family pet around the court and the scene flashed back into my mind.
Andy wisely decided he and Ella should go next door and meet and greet. When they returned I heard that Ella wanted to taste the bunny and Andy growled and Ella has been miserable all afternoon.
We will have to keep the gates closed now…..

What I loved about smoking….

I haven’t smoked for 2 days. I feel – different. This is my 9th attempt to quit. I have tried hypnosis, nicotine patches, tabs and cold turkey. This time I have reduced my smoking over the last six months and I am quitting cold turkey. It is not so bad really to be honest. It is only 2 days though I guess. I want to be done with smoking for a lot of reasons. I want to be healthier and I want to live a long life. I want to allow my family to have relief from worrying about my health.
I loved stepping outside and smoking though. i loved looking up at the stars at night or sitting in the sunshine and enjoyed being outside smoking. I loved the pause that smoking gave me. The little time outs to do something I perceived as being for me. I know the reality though is that it is the worst thing for me and it doesn’t calm me down, but actually stresses me out and I hope this time I will be done with it forever.
I have let go of many other self defeating habits and this is possibly one of the last really dangerous ones I have. I take good care of myself these days except for smoking.