My brother Brendan is heading up to Townsville tomorrow. I have 4 brothers and a sister. We are all very different and don’t see that much of each other. Brendan is the brother I see the least of and he has lived away from the family most of his life. He has been home at my parents for a couple of months. He was living in NT. He is also quiet and hasn’t got a lot to say. We have little in common and very different lifestyles. Yet being my brother means I can pop into mum and dad’s and borrow his sleeping bag from him to go to school camp like I did a few weeks ago. He can ask me to type up a resume for him, which I haven’t done yet, but will today. It is the same with all my siblings. I see my sister Kate the most and enjoy her bright personality and have quite a close relationship with her.
I know if I needed any of my brothers or sister’s help, I would have it if I asked and they would in turn have mine. We shared a childhood. On Christmas day, most of us usually get together and laugh together about the memories. We phone each other sometimes on our birthdays, but not always. We see each other at extended family occasions. Our lives are not really entwined externally but in my heart they are.
There is a wide range in our ages from me (40) to Kate (24) so it makes our family life interesting. The six of us all have different lifestyles and jobs. It makes diverse conversation when we are all together. We find links through people we know and share stories about now and the past and enjoy being together. We can quickly resume our childhood roles and it is fun to do that occasionally.
I admire my parents their ability to let us all go and keep a good relationship with all of us without interfering in our lives or trying to control us. It is probably what keeps us all returning home willingly and happily. I hope I can be like them with my own children.
School Camp with yr 7
Tomorrow I am off on school camp. I have been feeling very reluctant about it. I have been going on school camps for 5 years now and I think I may have had enough of it. I felt more enthused about it today because I genuinely want the kids to have a great time. Whilst trying to pacify their fears and get them enthused and excited I worked the magic on my own mind, which was good.
It is a lot of hard work though. I have to organise my classes that I will miss in my absence, plan my home to be away for 3 days and then be ‘mommy’ to 28 kids for 3 days and if I am lucky their parents will pick them up on time allowing me to get home before I drop. When I get home, because I have been away for 3 days I have to deal with catch up there. Then on Monday I will get to see whether the teachers who were taking my classes, actually stuck to the plan and the work got done. I hate feeling this cynical but I have been on camp and rarely experienced a variation to this routine.
It will be ok though because it is warm and I will get to do lots of great activities and be in nature and hopefully see independence and team building and all those inspiring wonderful things that I remember when I am asked if I am available to go on camp. It reminds me of childbirth really. You forget until it’s time to go! Lucky for that or my beautiful son wouldn’t be around. No, it wasn’t actually as bad as school camp – childbirth that is.
I will post a favourite photo when I get back, I promise and I haven’t forgotten the mask yet. I’m saving it for one day when I feel particularly lost for words.
Weeks whizzing by
I can’t believe I haven’t blogged for a week. Life hasn’t been that busy or stressful, in fact it has been a regular kind of week. A couple of meetings after school. Even shares of good and bad news received about friends and family. An appointment or two. Some questions to grapple with, some repairs to be done. The daily exercising and juicing and cleaning and shopping and cooking and teaching and preparing and correcting and learning and loving and discussing to name some events specifically. The range of emotions have been felt, delight at the news my friend, Sam started secondary school triumphantly, fear about my pa having cancer at 85, that is treatable but will no doubt cause pain and disruption to his life, satisfaction about stimulating classes taught and surprise and pleasure when my beloved wished me a happy valentines day. I have been tempted by offers of further study and had to reflect on whether a MA in Educational Leadership is for me, I decided not. I have been troubled by my son’s outbursts that have all smoothed now and turn out to be a storm in a teacup and not the catastrophe I often fear when my kids seem unhappy. Helped my daughter with her role as school captain and felt concerned that whilst the role is within her scope of ability that it will affect her study negatively. Not a featureless week or a week without surprises but there is a feeling of dullness in me that I can’t shake. A lack of inspiration. I don’t know why.