Tag: family

Home for Christmas

I arrived home this afternoon. My house is beautifully clean and looking good. My son and mum have looked after it well whilst I’ve been away. My family (most brothers, sister, kids and parents) had their Christmas lunch on the weekend. I missed it! I feel relieved that I don’t have to do a big family Christmas tomorrow – I’m so tired.

My kids are at their dads until lunchtime tomorrow. I am going to the parents tomorrow morning for breakfast and to open the pile of remaining presents left under the tree for me. I saw this postcard on Post Secret and felt pretty sad for this lady. I remember when my kids were younger, it was a bit of a struggle to celebrate without them, or even to know my ex had to when I had them. I never had to cry alone though, so I feel very blessed. My family were always there to support me.
I remember when I worked in an Early Adolescent Unit for a couple of years I found Christmas pretty heartbreaking to be with children who had no parent present and felt it deeply. Reading this post on Imaginif: We are not victims we are survivors reminded me about that. I cried a lot those Christmas’s about the injustice of a world that could go on oblivious to some. I found advertising and materialism quite painful to tolerate.

My Christmas this year possibly sounds pretty sad doesn’t it – NOT! It’s bliss to me. I have always wanted to be an only child and as I left mum and dad’s tonight after being well fed on the pseudo Christmas day lunch leftovers tonight, I informed them that this was the perfect Christmas for me! I insist on having all their attention and I am glad I will be the only one there. It is very noisy and demanding being the oldest of six kids and this will be the Christmas morning of my dreams. I won’t have to wait for anyone to arrive, just me. I won’t have to wait my turn to speak, or any of that sharing stuff. I will finally be the centre of the Christmas Day! Dad reminded me that I have had that experience once before, being born first. As I don’t clearly remember it (I was 23 days old and my brother was there the year after), it doesn’t count!

My 42nd Birthday

I’m 42!

I had a great birthday. I’ve been in contact with the people I love and received visits, phonecalls, emails, gifts and comments from lots of great people wishing me a happy birthday.

I enjoyed my day out for brunch with my friend Rhonda, who is born the same day as me. It was good. I went for a swim in the afternoon and then my parents visiting, bringing dinner this evening.

I feel tired and grateful for my day and my life.

Today I am Grateful for my Grandparents

Tomorrow it will be two months since Pa left the planet. I visited his wife this week because she had a birthday and I wanted to be there for her at such a difficult time. She’s a wonderful person. She cared for him so well and misses him too.

After my Nana went in 1999, my pa remarried at 80. He had such a positive loving relationship with Nana, I don’t think he would have known how to live alone. The year he was alone was terribly sad. It was great to see him setting off on adventures again with a companion to care for him. He was a big traveller.

Today I have been thinking how lucky I have been to have a grandfather, that I enjoyed being with, until I was 41. I lost my Nana when I was 34. They were both really important loving forces in my life. I lived with them (and my parents and Auntie) for the first 5 years of my life. Pa used to say to my boyfriends, “She’s a wonderful girl, bit spoilt though!”. He should know, they were the one who couldn’t let me cry as a baby so my parents tell me and endless other kindnesses in the years to follow.

When my daughter was two months old, my husband and I moved in with Nana and Pa for some months whilst we looked for a house. Nana had just had a hip replacement operation, so I cooked for Pa and helped out whilst she was on the mend. It was a beautiful time of my adulthood and I cried when we moved. Everyone was astonished thinking I’d be delighted to be buying my first home, but I didn’t want to leave their warm and loving home.

My children were old enough to know both of them and loved them as I did. I think we were incredibly lucky.

They were really there for me for such a long time. I remember as a child asking my Nana to promise me she would never die. She never would make that promise. She reassured me telling me I would be fine when it happened, I would be ready. I wasn’t, but I can’t complain how long they stayed nor the quality of their presence in my life.