Tag: gratitude

With Hindsight 30 was……

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Truthfully
Ghastly for me. However, to be completely honest, I’d made rather a mess of my life by then and it was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me in a nasty yet useful way. It’s over 10 years ago now, so with that kind of space from it, I can see the benefits.

Karen Cheng asks about turning 30 in her post The Big Three Oh- Women Turning 30 – I’m glad you asked Karen!

Picture This
On my 30th birthday, as the sun was coming up, I was barefoot in a muddy field with an aching back and my precious babies sleeping in the backseat of my celica, whilst I cut not nearly enough asparagus to make it worthwhile. My once beautifully manicured hands were calloused and cut. There were rows of asparagus ahead of me to cut.

How did I get there?
I was separated and trying to raise two kids under 5. I’d been in decorating business with my friend and business partner. It was long hours and I felt I didn’t have enough time for my kids. I hoped that by selling the business and taking casual jobs, I would get more time and have a more peaceful lifestyle.
It took a lot of convincing for the farmer to give me the job so I was too stubborn to leave after promising I wouldn’t quit in the first week. I barely made a living and had help every day from fit, experienced blokes who would see me struggling and jump the fence and cut out my rows so I’d finish before the asparagus went off in the field.
I remember one day picking up my daughter from kinder and one of the mum’s asked me if I’d been to Bali cause I had such a great tan. I rushed out to the car so I wouldn’t blubber in public. It was a painful time.

Benefits of the Harsh Experience
I saw the most amazing sunrises and dragonflies. I made some good mates and for the first time learnt why labourers drink beer. It tastes damn good after hard work! It was a physical challenge.
I knew I was insane doing it so hard . I had a BA and lots of skills and it was one of those turning points that makes you get your act together. It took a while but I made progress to making a better life from that day on.

I still feel …
In Karen’s reflection she says she still feels like she is 24. Even when I turned 40 I still felt like a kid. I don’t think age is about feeling a certain way. I did have expectations of having my act a lot more together when I was 30 than it was. I felt like a failure in so many ways and I didn’t match up to my vision for 30. I started to feel that it was time to take my life a lot more seriously and that I had to stop fluffing around.

10 Years Later
Turning 40 was bliss in comparison. I not only felt pleased with my life but had the perspective of how painful it had been only 10 years ago to amplify my gratitude. I feel like I am now living the best years of my life. I know you can decide this at any time.

Pumping Up Your Tyres

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In Praise of Praise
When we say ‘I pumped up your tyres’, or ‘She/he pumped up your tyres’. It’s a bit of a joke designed to let each other know, we put in a good word for someone or heard some praise about them. Everyone wants to hear that about themselves. It makes you feel good.
Inflated Tyres
I’ve had my tyres pumped up this week a couple of times. When I returned to school after being away for a few days, my students greeted me enthusiastically and welcomed me back. A parent at the supermarket told me she wanted to line up behind the best teacher in the world according to her two kids. I felt great.
I could certainly travel smoother with my pumped up tyres. It’s been a challenging week or so and those things helped. Perhaps I am self-aggrandising when I write this, so be it. I am sharing it because I want others to realise that those kind of comments can carry tremendous weight. Many people talk about the negative feedback and challenges in public for teachers. That happens. So it’s good to be able to share the positive ones too. They really make a difference.
Anti Acknowledgement
The Age: Last But Not Least discusses authors acknowledgements and takes a critical look at the ulterior motive of the writer who lists many benefactors. Caroline Baum asks

“Could it be that a culture already geared to excessive confession and public displays of emotion is guilty of nurturing the current trend? Is it also perhaps an attitude borrowed from that most egomaniacal of public arenas, Hollywood?”

Where is the harm in being grateful to people who have supported you? I don’t think it takes anything away from someone to praise and acknowledge others. Particularly in a book, readers aren’t compelled to read it! I don’t remember thinking too much about the authors acknowledgement pages unless I have been looking for further reading, checking sources to determine the historical accuracy, or that one time when my partners ex included him in her thanks;-).

Apples for Apples
I realise that an acknowledgement in a book or at some award ceremony is quite different to a spoken thank-you or acknowledgement, yet I think it’s similar stuff. I don’t see the harm in thanking others or praising one another. I would encourage it.

Mothers Day

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I had a beautiful mothers day for lots of reasons. My kids spoilt me with my favourite things, warm slippers, chocolates, books and DVDs. I love being spoilt. I have always totally enjoyed mothers day and my birthday. I’m definately not one of those ‘Don’t make a fuss’ people. I say bring on the treats.
I had a great surprise at school today also when one of my reluctant readers turned up reading a book. He told me enthusiastically he’d enjoyed reading. That’s all it takes to make me smile as a teacher.
All is well in my world.

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