It was overcast here today and this seems to have set the tone for my day. Perhaps it was the sleeping pattern I had developed over the holidays, but I was tired and lethargic. I felt frustrated by the behaviour of many people around me today, but sadly not frustrated enough to bother doing anything about it. I feel tired and ‘can’t be bothered’. Perhaps it is the impending eclipse on Wednesday. Don’t know…..
Ho hum….
Well, I think I’ll get an early night and tomorrow can be a bright new day.
I have to confess I am smoking again. Quite regularly too. Have been for a week or so. Will try again soon to quit.
Went to chiropractor today. Was the best part of the dull day. I love that crunch and the relief it brings. Never thought the day would come when I would say that!
What I loved about smoking….
I haven’t smoked for 2 days. I feel – different. This is my 9th attempt to quit. I have tried hypnosis, nicotine patches, tabs and cold turkey. This time I have reduced my smoking over the last six months and I am quitting cold turkey. It is not so bad really to be honest. It is only 2 days though I guess. I want to be done with smoking for a lot of reasons. I want to be healthier and I want to live a long life. I want to allow my family to have relief from worrying about my health.
I loved stepping outside and smoking though. i loved looking up at the stars at night or sitting in the sunshine and enjoyed being outside smoking. I loved the pause that smoking gave me. The little time outs to do something I perceived as being for me. I know the reality though is that it is the worst thing for me and it doesn’t calm me down, but actually stresses me out and I hope this time I will be done with it forever.
I have let go of many other self defeating habits and this is possibly one of the last really dangerous ones I have. I take good care of myself these days except for smoking.