Tag: parenting

VCE Time

I am proud of my daughters journey through the schools I have sent her to. She has always strived to do her best and has worked well at learning and building positive relationships with her peers and teachers. I haven’t given her much assistance with her work and have never believed in motivating my children to study. ‘Education is it’s own reward.’ is what I have chanted to them over the years. There have been no prizes or monetary values placed on doing well at school. There are no threats about doing poorly. It is after all, their own adventure into the world, they need to make mistakes so they can learn.

The imput I have had with both my children has been the occasional conversation when the frustration has built and they have fortunately chosen to discuss it with me rather than take extreme measures. The frustrations have usually come from teachers who don’t care or don’t know, or the typical dilema’s with other students. There have been tough times and joyful times. I teach at the school they attended in junior secondary so it has been challenging for all of us at times. I do know the characters they are grappling with and not much could be hidden about actions they take.

Now she is doing her VCE exams and has prepared herself very well, throughout the year and now at the main event, she is taking responsibility to be the best she can be. I don’t need the results to come in. I know she is a great success, and I am proud of her.

How TV Effects Your Kids

Yesterday I watched a great movie called Thumbsuckers. It contained a great line that has really made me think “Television is a Trojan Horse in our Homes” (Thumbsuckers). I don’t watch much TV anymore. In fact I reckon I would watch less than 2 hours a week. I don’t find any value in it. In fact I find it annoying. I get news online now and I like that I can read lots of views from around the world.
This link is to an article that highlights some of the negatives of tv watching by kids. In talking to students many have tv’s in their bedrooms. Some houses I know have 3+ TVs in them. Trojan horses?

Mothering & Home

I am reading a book at the moment called Unless by Carol Shields. It is about a mother who is quite successful and has all that we hope for, loving family, beautiful home, satisfying career etc. Her eldest daughter suddnely withdraws from the world, abandoning university to sit on a street corner, wearing a sign that reads only ‘goodness’. What a frightening reality for a mother. I haven’t finished the book yet, but the concept of it haunts me.
I remember when I went on holidays once I met an older woman and we were discussing our daughters. Hers was older than mine, but had pursued similar things, and then unexpectedly dropped out. She had got caught up with a shady boyfriend and turned her future plans on their head. Her mother was shattered and I was scared. I remember having nightmares all summer that my daughter would have some catastrophic thing that would ‘ruin’ her future.
I began to reflect on my own pathway through to adulthood, (I think I arrived a couple of years ago, despite getting grey hairs and wrinkles so young). I realised my parents were probably pretty concerned about some of the routes I’d taken.
I’m proud and pleased with my daughter and I expect she will take some interesting paths and I, like my parents did for me and other mothers all over the planet will still love her and hope for the best for her. When people tell me how amazing and wonderful she is I feel proud and grateful to the powers that be. I was discussing this with a work colleague last week and we agreed, his daughters are much older too, that you never feel you can relax, that the mission is accomplished.
Getting back to the book, there is this great quote about homes in it and I like it.

“Our house if full of rough corners that seem to me just about to come into their full beauty. I often think of how Vicnete Verdu, the Spanish writer, spoke of houses as existing between reality and desire, what we want and what we already have. Probably this old house is not as lovely as I believe. My eyes are curtained over. I used to be able to see the separate rooms with their colours and spaces, but now I can’t. I’ve overvalued its woody, whorled coves and harbours, convincing myself of an architectural spaciousness and, at the same time, coziness..” (p57)

I love it and I identify with those sentiments. She goes on to say she should have employed a decorator a long time ago. I have been a decorator, so have even less excuse for the tangle of styles and half completed schemes in my home, yet it is my home and there are corners of it that I find harmony and promise of visions to be realised.