Tag: Youth

The Return of the Son etc..

He’s back. It’s a good thing. The house was too empty. I never thought I would feel like that. I have always appreciated my solitude, but I was delighted to have him home early.

Tonight the friends are all here upstairs watching movies and it feels like back to normal. A new kid (NK) came along tonight.
Son: Mum this is …..
NK: She already knows me.
Me: I do?
NK: Of course you do
Son: Were you in her class?
NK: No, but everyone knows me, ha ha.

How awkward. I don’t recall her. It’s often the case that every kid in the school knows you and somehow expects you to know them. There are over 600 kids on our campus. Impossible! I don’t think she realised I had no idea who she was. Phew!

Doing the Deb

For months our year 11’s have been preparing for the debutante ball by learning to dance, handing over large sums of money and fantasizing about what ‘the big night’ would bring. I know this because my son was one of them. In the beginning there were the ‘who’s partnering who’ conversations along with last minute upsets and broken agreements. Then came the girls chatter about dresses and shoes. The eager mum’s joining the ‘deb committee’ to ensure they got front row seats (I didn’t venture and thus was seated firmly at the back wall) and their child the ‘right’ night. I’ve seen all this before as outsider (teacher) and insider when my daughter went through similar motions 2 years ago. Never was brave enough to go on that committee though!

The last week has brought partner gift exchanges, hair disasters, makeup trials, and that nervous excitement we all know before a big event. Yesterday, the climax was finally reached. We (son and I) went to the home of his partner, where four stunning girls had gathered to create the kind of glamour and beauty you could expect at such an event. They all looked amazing. There were few stressful moments and last minute crisis, before they climbed into the limo and were taken to the venue for photo’s and goodness knows what else.

Four hours later we arrived and watched them ‘be presented’, smile, dance etc and then the deed was done. The big footy match was listened to with discrete earphone, by a few suffering parents. The sacrifices they make! I must say, having taught many of these kids when they were in year 7, 8 and 9, it was touching to see how they had grown up. They are a great bunch of kids. There was food, music, dancing and glitz.

The after party was attended and in the wee small hours I was driving a carload of teens back to my house to sleep it off. It was twilight when I got into bed.

Is it all worth it? I don’t know, but it has been done. Twice now. If you ask my kids, they would say yes. They enjoyed themselves and love the sense of occasion and formality. I did my deb and although I wouldn’t have dreamt of not doing it, I wouldn’t again if I had my life over. I thought it was overrated as far as experiences go, personally.

For those of you who are not familiar with this Australian rite of passage, see this wikipedia extract, scroll down the Australia and there you have it. Our students were ‘presented’ to the local Catholic priest.

‘Rose by any other name’ by Maureen McCarthy

Maureen McCarthy read aloud the beginning of this novel to us at the Melbourne Writers Festival and I was hooked. I have devoured this book in a day. I could no longer resist it sitting in that pile next to my bed.

Remembering Young Adulthood
‘Rose by any other name’ is a novel I would recommend to all older teenagers about how life can get in the way of your plans and sidetrack you. I loved it as I remembered my first year out of school and how I went in every direction other than the clear and planned path. Sometimes the emotional upsets in our life drive us to seek escape from all the good and nurturing things in our life. They build a cranky outer shell that disguises who we really are from both the world and ourselves.

Unconditional Families
I loved this novel as a mother and a daughter. That tension between the mother and daughter that is so prevalent in my own mother/daughter and daughter/mother interactions. It was so realistic and funny and sad. Maureen McCarthy captures beautifully the pleasures and trails of belonging to a close family.

Rants
Sprinkled throughout the novel are rants about the things Rose hates, that she has published in a music magazine. My favourite:

“Don’tch just hate it… when you find out the all your dirty secrets are public knowledge? You go around thinking your life is private, that no one knows your business. Well, I’m here to tell you, you millions of multi-talented, meat-eating, hoodwinked, rock-loving Saucers, that not only do the banks, ASIO, the tax department and the credit companies have all your details on file, more than likely your family knows a lot more about your every move than you do. Yep,that’s right! Face it! Your mother reads your diary. Your siblings trawl through your emails. Your friends, hungry for contact with warm-blooded creatures after a day in front of the screen, spread your private confidences like preachers at a religious rally. Don’t blame them. Privacy is dead. Get used to it!……”

(pg 266)

And what a relief it is to have all our darkest guilty secrets and pains exposed and accepted. You try to save those close to you from the pain you experience, yet it is the pain of separation from them that is the real sin.

I really adored this novel. It contains so much emotionally; from the freedom and bliss of surfing, the joys of shared music taste, the intimacy of best girlfriends and sisters, the pain of betrayal, the vulnerability of being in love, the deep pain and anger of our most important people falling to human status, the discovery of loving the wrong person to the myriad of interactions that occur in relationships. It is a full and juicy novel.