I had a massage tonight. It was the best. I don’t understand why anyone would spend money on any other stress relief. A massage is the best. I have been having massages for probably 20 years. At some times I have had only one or two a year, now I have at least 4 a year. I feel it has really improved my health and helped me a lot. I love to massage the people I love but can rarely sustain the effort for more than half an hour. It is really great to pay for a massage, as I did tonight and enjoy over an hour of total attention to your needs. It is amazing. I feel great. Just do it. You will never look back!
Observing ease….
I have felt a lot of ease about returning to work. Things that once instigated rage in me are not so upsetting now. Something has changed. I think the fact that my own children are no longer at the school where I work has taken some of the emotional charge out of wanting things to be the best they can be for them. I am not sure this is a good thing to lose. Does this mean I don’t care as much now that I am not driven by the self interest or my childrens interests? I have a feeling I may actually be a better, calmer teacher though. I have to observe it all and reflect more on it. I also don’t have a leadership position. I guess I feel less responsible for the disorganisation so I have patience with it. I don’t want to stress anyone else out like I was feeling a lot of the time whilst I was in that position. I am enjoying the conversations I am having with others more because I am not in a position of service to them as much. I feel I can choose more about what I contribute and do more than I could before. I felt obligated to do certain things before and this was like a chain around me. I have also let go of expectation. I have given up. I have less attatchment to the place. It has come down from it’s pedestal and it’s now just a workplace. Although I am uncertain about what has exactly caused the ease I am feeling, I am not stopped from thoroughly delighting in it.
Happy Chinese New Year – Year of the Fire Dog
We start back at work tomorrow. It will be the start of a new year indeed. The holidays have been awesome. These ones really lasted; like they used to when I was a kid. I think I am becoming more present in each moment. My mind is not always off doing something else making time slip away too quickly because it is not fully felt. I feel really healthy too. The small changes to my eating and exercise habits over the last 12 months have paid off more than any short term diet I have tried. I haven’t meditated as much these holidays as I usually do, but I have spent a lot of time in nature and I reckon that’s as good meditation as you can get.
I have barely given a thought to work these weeks away. I hope for a fresh start and avoid getting carried away with the politics and pain of the place. I want to focus on learning and the young people in my care. I know who my friends are now, so it should be easier. The rest I will handle. I expect to have more of a relaxing time without the leadership responsibilities. I am not going to be putting my hand up for anything!