Middle Age

Navigating Midlife:women becoming themselves by Robyn Vickers-Willis has sidetracked me from all my intentions this week. I think it has been a long overdue personal stocktake. My wonderful new masseur lent me a copy of the book. I must admit it took me a little time to accept that I am in midlife, or middle aged. Denial! I guess writing the post about turning 30 also caused me to reflect on age related matters. Not that I will ever accept that the number of years defines who you are or how you are to behave, yet it was an interesting realisation and the book provided much needed reflection.

Personal Growth

There was nothing shattering or new to me in this book. I began doing personal growth courses and reading when I was in my early 20s. I think it was a little too early to be honest. Intellectually, I could understand much of what I read and experienced, but I had little real life experience to apply it to. I haven’t really focussed as much on personal growth the past 10 years or so. I have occassionally read a book, watched a DVD, read a few blogs and just stuck with the practises I have found most helpful, meditating, exercising, journalling and have picked up and put down other tools as needs arose.

Useful Tools

This book reminded me of the stages and growth times and allowed me to focus on my current stage. I enjoyed it and feel I will reflect on it for some time. I particularly enjoyed the second half of the book that focussed on the many ways we can become more ourselves.

Australian Difference

The other thing I really loved about this book, is the author was an Australian woman. I could identify with her experience. Many books I have read in my life have been written by international authors and whilst it’s really no big deal, it’s great to really know the society and environment the author is speaking from. I always appreciate Australian things for this reason. Perhaps it’s because when I was growing up there were so few Australian authors or films I was exposed to.

Mercury Goes Forward..

July 11, 2007

johblogs

reflection 2 Comments

Anyone who is into astrology would probably know that Mercury has been through a retrograde period from 15th June to 9th July. So it has gone direct now. My communications don’t seem to have got the memo about this however. My phone has stopped working. Yesterday I was trying to get in touch with my significant others who are scattered about the country and experienced a number of frustrating attempts back and forward to get basic information I needed. Mobiles had gone flat, others were out of range, each call came when I was driving or in some other way unable to hear or get to it. Grrrr. So much for mass communications.

With Hindsight 30 was……

July 8, 2007

johblogs

reflection 4 Comments

Truthfully
Ghastly for me. However, to be completely honest, I’d made rather a mess of my life by then and it was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me in a nasty yet useful way. It’s over 10 years ago now, so with that kind of space from it, I can see the benefits.

Karen Cheng asks about turning 30 in her post The Big Three Oh- Women Turning 30 – I’m glad you asked Karen!

Picture This
On my 30th birthday, as the sun was coming up, I was barefoot in a muddy field with an aching back and my precious babies sleeping in the backseat of my celica, whilst I cut not nearly enough asparagus to make it worthwhile. My once beautifully manicured hands were calloused and cut. There were rows of asparagus ahead of me to cut.

How did I get there?
I was separated and trying to raise two kids under 5. I’d been in decorating business with my friend and business partner. It was long hours and I felt I didn’t have enough time for my kids. I hoped that by selling the business and taking casual jobs, I would get more time and have a more peaceful lifestyle.
It took a lot of convincing for the farmer to give me the job so I was too stubborn to leave after promising I wouldn’t quit in the first week. I barely made a living and had help every day from fit, experienced blokes who would see me struggling and jump the fence and cut out my rows so I’d finish before the asparagus went off in the field.
I remember one day picking up my daughter from kinder and one of the mum’s asked me if I’d been to Bali cause I had such a great tan. I rushed out to the car so I wouldn’t blubber in public. It was a painful time.

Benefits of the Harsh Experience
I saw the most amazing sunrises and dragonflies. I made some good mates and for the first time learnt why labourers drink beer. It tastes damn good after hard work! It was a physical challenge.
I knew I was insane doing it so hard . I had a BA and lots of skills and it was one of those turning points that makes you get your act together. It took a while but I made progress to making a better life from that day on.

I still feel …
In Karen’s reflection she says she still feels like she is 24. Even when I turned 40 I still felt like a kid. I don’t think age is about feeling a certain way. I did have expectations of having my act a lot more together when I was 30 than it was. I felt like a failure in so many ways and I didn’t match up to my vision for 30. I started to feel that it was time to take my life a lot more seriously and that I had to stop fluffing around.

10 Years Later
Turning 40 was bliss in comparison. I not only felt pleased with my life but had the perspective of how painful it had been only 10 years ago to amplify my gratitude. I feel like I am now living the best years of my life. I know you can decide this at any time.

Navigation