The United States of Leland

I watched this tonight. Although it was quite touching and painful, it was enjoyably so.

This week has been busy and had it’s highs and lows. I am finding it still difficult to get on with things at work. I struggle to shift my focus and resist being negative. I don’t like myself and my thoughts at work.
This is the longest I have been in a job. Four and a half years……
I am continuing to question myself and trying to find the truth beneath the upset. I am sure there is something I am not learning that is keeping me suspending in this struggle. I want to be released. It is possibly not even about work. I don’t know. I just feel really hurt and upset and whilst I am trying to pretend everything is ok and I am over it, I am dreaming and crying in my dreams and I can’t escape it.

Jane – My Inspiration

I have known Jane since I was 6 years old. We have shared plenty together. I love her like a sister. She now lives 5 hours away from me in another state and I see her once a year. We talk often on the phone.

Three years ago her son was in a motorbike accident. I went over and saw this beautiful alive and vibrant young person lying lifeless in a hospital bed. He was 9 years old. Time passed and most things healed but he is currently in a wheelchair and has many physical issues to deal with. Jane has been a constant carer. She has received support from a team of professionals to deal with things like physiotherapy and other medical problems, but for the day to day caring of Sam, she has retained sole responsibility and has cared lovingly for Sam. He has a great sense of humour and is fully aware of the situation he is in.

There are so many heartaching stories to tell and triumphant ones too. Through Jane’s experiences I have seen another facet of the world. I would have preferred not to have known most of it.

Last night when I spoke to Jane she told me of her latest trial. Sam has been attending school as often as possible. Last term he had to have surgery and missed most of the term and suffered a lot of pain afterward. This term he returned to school. He is in year 7 and it is his final year of the primary school he has been attending. His teacher excluded him from a graduation breakfast held at a local restaurant and then tried to justify her behaviour and refused to apologise to cut the story to the barest details.

So Jane has had to go through the processes of getting justice yet again. I am inspired that she continues to go after these limited people and teach them what appropriate behaviour is when she has so much burden to carry in her life.

This woman has her life totally altered. The school is the same school he was attending when the accident occured. I don’t understand. I am outraged at the treatment Sam has received and the lack of compassion for both parent and student. As a teacher I am totally puzzled about how this other teacher can be so inhumane. What is wrong with these people?


Last week was challenging for me. I know I have learnt from the past though because I looked after myself. I had a massage last night, which was great. I continued doing my exercises. I continued to eat as healthy as I could be bothered with. I took some time out during the week and I feel like I am recovering from the upsets. I have had to really search my own behaviour and motives. All Upsets are Opportunities to Know the Truth. Some of the truths I didn’t really want to know!
I love my workplace. I totally enjoy being a teacher and many of my fellow teachers have become very dear friends to me. This week I have learnt who is amongst the people who surround me. I remember other times in my life when I have had this chance to see who’s who in my life. The reliable, perceptive friends who let you blurt out all your anger and hurt and give that valuable feedback and the sheep who go off to find a new person to kiss up to. I kind of knew who they were anyway. There were few surprises and they were mostly pleasant.